


phantom faces at the windows (phantom shadows on the floor)

by KeeperofSeeds



Series: Obi Wan & Shmi and the Worst Vision ever [10]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Coping, Developing Friendships, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Female Friendship, Flashbacks, Force Visions, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Jedi Temple, Memories, Mother-Son Relationship, Not Beta Read, Order 66, Parent-Child Relationship, Past Minor Character Death (mentioned), Timey-Wimey, Visions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2018-09-07 15:05:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8805544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeeperofSeeds/pseuds/KeeperofSeeds
Summary: Anakin is remembering more of the Vision every year. A painful flashback ends with both a lesson and a vow from Shmi and an unexpected meeting with another Jedi.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [suzukiblu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/suzukiblu/gifts).



> Time jump! Anakin is about 7 here. (Don't worry all the early years aren't being skipped over, I just had this plot bunny nibbling at me). We're getting closer to the age where we know all sorts of Big (bad) Events from the Visions are about to go down. Quick catch up on my headcannon relating to this particular story: for Anakin's memories of the Vision I'm running with the idea that he doesn't consciously remember or understand much of the Visions at first. As he grows up they manifest most often as dreams. The older he gets, the closer to the canon time line we get, the more clearly he remembers events. But he is still just child (though a smarter and more powerful than average child) so that colors his feelings and interpretations of the Visions he does remember. 
> 
> Title is a piece of a lyric from Empty Chair and Empty Tables, which is from the musical Les Miserables. Keep some tissues on hand if you decide to listen to it.

Shmi was meeting with the Head Librarian when she felt her son's pain and fear spike through the Force. She politely, but firmly excused herself, ignoring Jocasta's frown at her sudden departure, and hurries towards the creche as fast as possible without actually breaking into a run.  

Anakin isn't inside the creche. The Master inside tells her that he had received permission to wait in the hall for her to meet him after finish her meeting. She bows to the woman in thanks and waves off her questioning look as she backs back out of the room.

"Anakiiiiin." she calls out in a low voice, outside the creche. "Where are you love?"

She hears a small sniff from her somewhere to her right. Quietly she creeps closer and peers around one of the giant support poles near a pair of glass doors leading out to a balcony. Anakin is curled up on the floor against it, sitting in the shade of the pole, wiping his sleeve across his already red eyes.

"There you are my darling," she says softly, walking closer to sit beside him, her own back against the support pole. He sniffs and slowly tilts sideways to lean against her. Only then does she wrap an arm around his shoulders.  

They sit quietly for a minute, and she runs her hand through the longer strands of his hair at the back of his neck, as Anakin wipes away tears on his sleeve.

"They're getting worse Mum."

She knows before he says it.

"The memories. I get…flashes of them. From Before. Or maybe what might be. We haven't learned much about preno- premonitions yet." He enunciates the word carefully. "Is that what these are?"

She pulls Ani closer and he sniffles into her sleeve. "Obi Wan and I _think_ , that they're part of a Vision. A warning maybe, from the Force. Things that might have happened or will happen. The universe is more complex than we know Ani, it could be many things." She holds him tighter for a moment, to reassure herself of the here and now. "Obi and I are doing our best to prepare for the future."

"I don't know how you do it Mom. Hold all these thoughts meant for me. I just…I get so scared!"

"It's alright Ani, it's okay. Let it out." She wraps her arms around him and he collapses further into her grip, holding her so tight it almost hurts. "It's not a bad thing to be scared. Some of the things you remember _will_ be scary or bad, but don't let yourself become lost in those feelings. Come find me or Obi Wan, or even a friend to talk too if you're feeling scared. Even if you can't tell a friend _all_ the details, it's good to get your feelings out and acknowledge them. Then you can work through them. It's easier when you have a friend to help with these things."

She puts a finger beneath his chin, waiting until he meets her eyes. "Do you understand, my love?"

He sniffs. "I think so Mom." He pauses. "Is that what you and Obi Wan do? Help each other? When the memories get too scary?"  
  
She smiles. "Yes. Obi Wan also talks to his Master too. You remember Master Qui Gonn?"

Anakin nods.

"Being a Master means being there for your Padawan, helping them and teaching them."

Anakin's gaze goes distant for a moment. "Was…did Obi Wan do that for me? I've seen him more and more in my dreams lately. We're in the salles, training like the Initiates do. Or we're with the men with the same face."

Anakin has been remembering more as the years progress, as they've gotten closer to the Event that she and Obi Wan think started everything. The Invasion of Naboo. When Anakin's timeline in the Vision had first intersected with Obi Wan's, and her own memories of interacting with Qui Gon and the young Queen had occured. Anakin had had flashes of remembering that Obi Wan had been, or would be, his Master before, but this was the first time he'd asked outright. When he was three he had spent the year sneaking out of the creche at every opportunity to hunt down Obi Wan and follow him around, begging to be carried when the young man rushed to and fro throughout the long halls of the Temple.

"Yes, Ani." She finally answered.

She had her own thoughts on her son's memories of training with Obi Wan, memories she shared through the Vision. For now though, all she would do is encourage their friendship, and continue to look after the boy whom she remembered as both mentor and brother to her son, and hope he would one day grow into a new version of that man she remembered through Ani's eyes.

* * *

"Do you want to tell me what it is that has you upset now or talk about it later, when the memory isn't so fresh?"

"…now I guess." He cuddles closer, not looking her in the eye any more. "I was waiting outside the creche for you when I saw it. I saw…" his eyes dart around, making sure they are alone, then he whispers into her robes, "I saw them dying. I had a lightsaber and it was me, and I was killing them! Those men with the same face!  There were there too! They were shooting and I could _feel_ the Darkness creeping over me and everything and I got so cold and afraid!" He sobbed again, the vision memory overwhelming him.

Shmi's remembrance of that part of the war is fuzzier than some other events as it was only from Anakin's point of view. Obi Wan wasn't there and they'd both gotten only Anakin's fuzzy recollection of events from that horrible time.

She closes her own eyes and feels her son's pain flow over her and through her. As if they are still one being. She feels the spark of anger attempt to rise up from within her. A sand storm that could easily grow and consume all in its path if she let it loose. A fierce protectiveness, mixed with disgust at the Sith Lord who manipulated them so. The Shadow. She will not say his name aloud, even here within the Temple itself, this fortress of Light. She will not burden her son with her own anger. He will someday remember his own anger, and she must be there to help tame down the great Kryat Dragon inside him. They are children of the desert, but here within the Jedi Temple there is water enough  to cool and sustain them both. They will learn to adapt. That is how the creatures of the desert endure and survive: they adapt and utilize their surroundings. She is surrounded by teachers, and knowledge born of millennia of research and trial and error, and of those who would help if she reached out. She will continue to learn, to read and do for herself things she has only seen through Anakin or Obi Wan's eyes. She will learn her own preferences and strengths, and learn how to then pass on what she has learned.

She releases the spark of anger into the Force.

"It's alright Ani, I'm here now." She rubs a hand over his back. "Can you try to breathe with me?"

He hiccups into her shoulder, tears thick in his throat, but nods.

She stills her hand and places it on the middle of his back.

"Breathe in with me, Ani. Let's try to match our breaths if you can," and she inhales deeply, feeling his back rise to match hers in shakey starts and stops. "And out." The hot puff of breath against her signals his following her instructions."

She slowly tries to lead him through a basic meditation: quieting their minds, encouraging him to reach out through the Force to draw on her own calm. His breaths remain shakey, but he does his best to follow her instructions. Some of the more traditional Masters do not like that she still allows a connection between them like this, that she allows him to draw on her own strength.  That is a role for a Master to take on, they insist, _not_ a Mother. But she could no more cut off her own hand than cut off their bond (and she can remember the distinct sensation of having one's hand cut off and does not make the comparison lightly). He can learn independence without being suddenly isolated this time.

  
If she concentrates hard enough, she could draw on the faint bond she feels to Obi Wan as well, a bond that Anakin is only beginning to consciously reach out to, but she doesn't. Anakin reached out to _her_ through the Force, she will do her best to comfort him and lead him through the unexpected surges of emotion that come of remembered flashes from the Vision.

Anakin's breaths grows steadier the longer they breathe together, though his tears still flow, leaving a damp patch on her robes.

She wants to reassure him more, but she does not want to make promises she cannot keep. She remembers dying in her son's arms in the Vision. She has changed things now. The Vision that gave her these insights and led her here to Coruscant, changed things, whether for good or bad she does not yet know; but she silently vows, as she has done over and over since Anakin's birth, that she will do everything she can to be there for her son and for Obi Wan. Together, they will face their fears and continue to set changes in motion. All they can do is try, but as she told Ani: it is easier, when you have a friend to help with these things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Worse Verse, I've missed you! I spent November attempting NaNo with an epic wip Luke & Vader redemption AU and recording a boat load of podfics. It was a fun way to spend last month.


	2. Chapter 2

Shaak Ti was still shaking red dust off the hems of her robes and from the soles of her boots when she returned to the Temple. She’d been on a diplomatic mission that had dragged on past it's expected time frame but luckily had ended with both parties agreeable to the arrangement she’d helped craft. Still, she was glad to be back in the environment of the Temple; the feel of all the Light surrounding her, the calm studious atmosphere of the archives, the energy in the training salles.

It’s soothing after the tense negotiations and worried diplomats. But though she’s only been back a day cycle, she already she seeks another change of pace.

The creche sometimes seemed to be world unto itself. The younglings so open and eager to learn and meet new people. So curious. She longed for their simple joy in discovering their limits through games. It had been years since her own Padawan had passed her Trials. The quiet grief over her unexpected death was beginning to fade and maybe, she should consider watching this group of Younglings more closely. Watch to see if the Force would nudge her towards one.

She is nearing the creche when she senses it. Something just out of range of a human's hearing. She tilts her head, attempting to better allow her montrals to sense where the noise originates.  
It is on her way it seems. The sounds gets louder as she quietly walks down the empty hallway. She follows the muffled noise and radiating pain in the Force straight to the source.

Lady Skywalker and her son, curled together on the tiled floor, leaning against a large column.

The boy, Anakin, she remembers, gasps and buries his face in his Mother's tunics, a wave of embarrassment flowing from him.

She doesn't know much of this pair besides rumors. This woman who showed upon the Temple steps with knowledge that should not be known by any outside these walls. The woman who stood face to face with the Grand Master himself and did not back down, who has taken it upon herself to become a hunter of sorts. To hunt down slavers of the like who it is rumored once held her captive,and also to join the Seekers, to hunt down children to potentially join their Order.  
She knows rumors of the boy's power as well; his miniclorian count the highest the Temple has seen in ages. She knows his presence from years past. A shadow following along the halls beside Padawan Kenobi, or, much to the horror of some of the older Masters, in the arms of his Mother as she studied in the library.

She knows only such basic information about the pair, and has only seen them from a distance before now, but she has seen their effect on those around them. The way young Obi Wan had grown more confident and protective of the pair, the new level of introspection they inspire in Master Jinn, the quiet curiosity in Masters and older Knights in her generation who question if the old traditions are the only traditions they should be teaching. She hears how the younglings in the creche talk of Lady Skywalker and her fierce protectiveness and gentle arms.

She is wrapped around her child now, holding the boy within the cocoon of her lap as he cries. He hiccups into the folds of her robes as steady hands soothe over his back.  
An unconventional meeting to be sure, but Shaak Ti assumes the Force drew her here for a reason and so she steps closer.

Shmi looks up, finally sensing the extra presence, and nods to her, a reassurance that nothing is all together too wrong here. Shaak Ti nods silently in return before gently sweeps her own robe back and kneels an arms' reach away from the pair, then adds her own tendril of gentle comfort to Shmi's in the Force. The boy gasps and his head shoots up. Wide blue eyes meeting hers once again.

A wave of grief washes over her. It seems far too powerful for one so small. What could this young one have experienced to have him so overwhelmed? It's tinged with a sour note of…is that guilt?

How strange.

This seems more than the usual fit of a child. There is something deeper at work here. Exactly what is a mystery for later though. For now she focuses on emanating a sense of calm and contentment.

After a few moments of sniffling, Shmi whispers in the child's ear and he slowly untangles himself from her grip. She uses the corner of her robe to wipe away the last remnants of tears from red cheeks and smoothes a piece of hair back from his forehead. He turns and takes one small step towards Shaak Ti, not looking directly at her, then another. Watery eyes dart up to hers and she holds out her arms.  
The boy practically launches himself at her, hands intertwining themselves into her robes. He is no longer crying but trembles in her grip. She lets one hand curl around him, a steady pressure holding him close, but not so much that he might feel trapped.

She feel the warmth, damp sensation of breath through her robes and realizes that the child is whispering something into her shoulder.

It's an apology.

A stream of sorry so sorry I didn't mean to I'll do better this time.

She raises one hand to brush through the tuff of blonde hair, force signature still radiating out soothing energy. "Whatever it was you did, it's alright now child. You are safe here."

He gasps and draws back, as if surprised she heard his whispers. He glances back at his mother who gives him a reassuring smile.

“Yes,” he agrees, turning to face her head on again. His solemnity in that moment makes him seem older, lends weight to his promise. “I’ll help make things safe this. I’ll do better,” he insists. “I’m studying really hard.”

“I’m sure you are. Always in motion the Force is. Remember that young one. I’m sure it’s something you’re already learning.” He nods quickly, a shallow bob of his head. “Do not let yourself be dragged down by your emotions. Release them to the Force. Even the deepest pain will pass, I promise.”

Anakin doesn’t speak, but he nods his head again, as if committing her words to memory, and then stands to give her an impressively formal bow for such a situation.

Shmi speaks up. “Thank you. For your words and your time.” Anakin returns to help her stand.  
“I hope we didn’t keep you from anything.”

Shaak Ti stands and smiles reassuringly. “No. In fact you both happened to be on my way. I was heading to the creche. I’ve been away from the Temple and thought a visit to the creche would cheer my spirits.”

“It is certainly an invigorating place!” Shmi replies with a chuckle. “We should probably be returning there ourselves. They’re probably wondering if I’ve stolen you off again.” She tweaks Anakin’s nose at that and he scrunches it up in mock annoyance.  
The walk down the halls is quiet. The only evidence that something had been wrong is the lingering redness on Anakin’s cheeks.

Shmi brushes his hair back, kisses him on the head and gives him a gentle nudge towards the door to the creche.

“I’ll be right there Ani,” she says, and turns to face the woman beside her before she can make her way inside. “Thank you again for your help. And for your compassion.”

Shaak Ti tilts her head, not quite understanding.

“I know many Masters who still disprove of how I handle my Ani. Some would have looked down their nose at the scene you found, or urged me to let the creche master deal with the situation. So thank you again.”

Shaak Ti nodded her understanding. “It was no trouble, truly. I can see you care for your son deeply. Also, you’re reputation precedes you in this matter.”

Shmi smiles, unrepentant. “There are far worse things to be known for.” She begins to step forward, but a moment of impulsiveness leads Shaak Ti to speak up, to reach out a hand to her arm and make an offer. “If you are ever in need of a sparring partner, feel free to seek me out. I would enjoy the chance to see how much of the other rumors are true.” Shaak Ti bared her teeth in a smile at Shmi’s surprised bark of laughter.

Together then, they turned to enter the creche.

Shaak Ti makes a silent vow to continue reaching out to this strange woman. It would be interesting indeed to see an how an outsider’s training compared to that within the Temple. As she is surrounded by younglings, Shaak Ti cannot help how her gaze keeps wandering back to Lady Skywalker. She is seated on a chair, and her lap is already full of a bouncing Rodian child who startled a laugh out from her. It highlights the lines in her face, the creases on either side of her mouth well used. An unusual thought surfaces in Shaak Ti’s mind. Perhaps a Padawan is not what the Force will push her to. As a non traditional Force user than Lady Skywalker might be seeking out teachers here.

An interesting idea at the very least. But even if she wasn’t, Shaak Ti would make certain to reach out to the woman. The Temple was large, and being Infamous was no guarantee of a welcome by her fellow Jedi. Lady Skywalker could use another friend or ally in her journey.  
Shmi's must have sensed she was being watched because her eyes rose to meet Shaak Ti's across the horde of Younglings. She raised an eyebrow at Shaak Ti's smile before raising a hand to beckon her over. Shaak Ti went, bringing over the younglings clinging to her robes, and letting the energy of the them all wash over her. She let their excitement and joy wash over her and clear the dust from her mind, happy to be home once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Shaak Ti has like 3 different potential deaths across Star Wars media and none of them show up in canon! It's kind of ridiculous how many different times and ways she was killed but then that scene ended up cut or is considered EU now. Wookiepedia tells me that despite it being cut from the film, her official canon death for the moment is at the Temple, by Anakin/Vader, during Order 66. I think that moment does in fact show up in The Clone Wars animated series in either Yoda or Anakin's visions for a split second.
> 
> & haha Anakin's promise to Shaak Ti is adorable and yet also pretty bittersweet because he really does mean to protect her from all scary things in the universe in that way kids do, buuuut he also means to protect her from himself and his own potential actions. 
> 
> And lastly, BIG SHOUTOUT to [bowl_of_petunias](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15307203/chapters/35512866) who surprised the hell out me by podficcing part 1 of this series! Go listen to it and give her flaily feedback & kudos!!


End file.
